Sunday, August 24, 2003
Screwed Sideways
God.....so much is happening. Old memories of me being screwed by you and new screws. By you or by other people related to you. Let me begin with the old screws:
1. I don't know how i forgot about this incident. Its another first time. The first time you drove me home. We were going through Marrickville when you saw a car trying to park into a spot. You swerved onto the WRONG side of the road to try and get past the parking car. Only when you got onto the wrong side of the road, the car trying to park realised that the spot was too small for them and started driving. So there we were. Driving side by side with another car. Only we were on the wrong side of the road. Suddenly, up ahead, i see two spots of lights. Headlights. From an oncoming car. You screamed. I screamed. You sped up. You swerved back onto the right side of the road, narrowly missing both cars. My life has never been the same since.....
2. Your friend was starring in a theatrical play. I bought tickets for both of us. You gave me the wrong address. We lined up to watch a play about japanese samurais or some sort. I said lets ask. You said no. I asked. We were 100m from the theatre we were supposed to be at. We go to the correct theatre. The doors were closed. @!#%#@&#@^&
Recent screws
1. God I don't understand. Seriously. Why do we always attract the weirdos? Actually. Let me rephrase that question. Why do YOU always attract the weirdos? I know those of you reading this is asking "Why blame him?". Let me explain. HE is directing a movie. HE did the auditions. HE chose the actors. I was no involved AT ALL. I show up to filming and i meet these people. It starts raining during filming. Since I am camera, obviously i gotta protect the equipment. So there i was, standing with an umbrella in one hand, boom pole in the other whilst it was attached to the camera that threatened to blow over. I was just standing there, minding my own business, waiting for someone to put things in the car then come and help me pack up. Two of the actors turned to me and said:
Them: "Hey, did you know a girls hymen grows back in 7 years?"
Me: o_O "errrrrr......what (THE FARK)?"
Them: "A girl's hymen! It grows back after 7 years!"
Me: O_o "Errrrrr.....i thought once its ripped its ripped.....?? isnt it?"
Them: "No!!! The hymen is a membrane and never dies! so it grows back!!"
Me: "I thought when they said you're a born again virgin, it just meant you havent gotten any for awhile"
Them: "No!! it grows back!!!"
Me: "Ok......let me get this right...you're saying that if a girl doesnt get any for a long time, the hymen grows back and you're a virgin again."
Them: "Exactly!!"
Me: "......"
I don't know WHAT IN GODS NAME possessed them to tell me that. But thank you for the information. Thats all i needed to discuss after a long days filming. And let me repeat, i was NOT the one who hired them.
1. I don't know how i forgot about this incident. Its another first time. The first time you drove me home. We were going through Marrickville when you saw a car trying to park into a spot. You swerved onto the WRONG side of the road to try and get past the parking car. Only when you got onto the wrong side of the road, the car trying to park realised that the spot was too small for them and started driving. So there we were. Driving side by side with another car. Only we were on the wrong side of the road. Suddenly, up ahead, i see two spots of lights. Headlights. From an oncoming car. You screamed. I screamed. You sped up. You swerved back onto the right side of the road, narrowly missing both cars. My life has never been the same since.....
2. Your friend was starring in a theatrical play. I bought tickets for both of us. You gave me the wrong address. We lined up to watch a play about japanese samurais or some sort. I said lets ask. You said no. I asked. We were 100m from the theatre we were supposed to be at. We go to the correct theatre. The doors were closed. @!#%#@&#@^&
Recent screws
1. God I don't understand. Seriously. Why do we always attract the weirdos? Actually. Let me rephrase that question. Why do YOU always attract the weirdos? I know those of you reading this is asking "Why blame him?". Let me explain. HE is directing a movie. HE did the auditions. HE chose the actors. I was no involved AT ALL. I show up to filming and i meet these people. It starts raining during filming. Since I am camera, obviously i gotta protect the equipment. So there i was, standing with an umbrella in one hand, boom pole in the other whilst it was attached to the camera that threatened to blow over. I was just standing there, minding my own business, waiting for someone to put things in the car then come and help me pack up. Two of the actors turned to me and said:
Them: "Hey, did you know a girls hymen grows back in 7 years?"
Me: o_O "errrrrr......what (THE FARK)?"
Them: "A girl's hymen! It grows back after 7 years!"
Me: O_o "Errrrrr.....i thought once its ripped its ripped.....?? isnt it?"
Them: "No!!! The hymen is a membrane and never dies! so it grows back!!"
Me: "I thought when they said you're a born again virgin, it just meant you havent gotten any for awhile"
Them: "No!! it grows back!!!"
Me: "Ok......let me get this right...you're saying that if a girl doesnt get any for a long time, the hymen grows back and you're a virgin again."
Them: "Exactly!!"
Me: "......"
I don't know WHAT IN GODS NAME possessed them to tell me that. But thank you for the information. Thats all i needed to discuss after a long days filming. And let me repeat, i was NOT the one who hired them.
Comments:
Post a Comment
