FFS! Its not like we're new to this! We've sworn we're never going to go back, yet we do every single time! Moishii sends me an email a day after the near death experience saying that we need to go to the filming of the Celebrity Spelling Bee at Channel 7. Still traumatised, I forget about the email only to get an SMS a few days later saying that he has signed me up as a studio audience, and that the woman who took the booking got really excited because she remembered me. WTF? I've NEVER booked ANYTHING with Ch7, and when I go, I basically rock up, sit down and leave when filming ends. How the hell does she remember me FFS.

I get to work extra early today so I can leave 30mins early to get to Ch7 ontime. An hour later, we finally pull into the gates of Ch7 where Moishii whips out a container filled to the brim with his Mum's homemade vine leaves that I absolutely obsess over. We crack open the box and dig in knowing that filming could go for a few hours. We sign in and finally get seated in the studio. THREE FUCKIN HOURS LATER we are STILL in there filming with NO breaks. You'll be lucky if they even let you go to the toilet! FFS. And I cannot believe that a channel as big as channel 7 can be SO FUCKIN TIGHT. We're there from 6pm to 9:30pm, during peak dinner time, and all they served was a small cup of coke and a plate of chips for the entire audience to share.

My stomache won't stop growling, and they can't stop stuffing up. It was retake after retake after FUCKIN RETAKE! The couple sitting next to me was asking for a beating. The guy is supposedly a parking ticket officer which should deserve a beating as it is. His GF insists on putting her arm around HIS shoulders throughout the entire filming and kept jabbing me. Meanwhile, the two of them can't stop talking and keep muttering their "answers" during the fuckin competition. They think they are the fuckin star of the show where all you hear is the two of them yelling between takes. Ch7 is already fuckin tight. With a studio audience of about 80+ people, all they had was TWO fuckin bags of lollies to give out. And they didn't even give it out to everyone. The fuktard sitting next to me pratically had half a bag to himself cos he was screaming and yelling so much, they just wanted to shove something down his throat. Meanwhile, the two of us are sitting next to him and didn't get a fuckin thing.

Luckily I bought my own box of lollies, which happened to be SUGAR FREE JOLS!! FFS@! We were popping those jols like they were viagra tablets! About half a box later, I noticed the following:

"Excess consumption may have a laxative effect."

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I am so going to pay for that tonight.

30mins into the filming a guy jumps up during the break and tries to make a run for the door. The guy tries to stop him. This is when he screams "My house is on fire!", trips over a cable then runs out the door. He was the smart one. If only we did that as well! The clock ticks towards 9:30 when I suddenly heard music in my ears. I couldn't tell if it was my stomache growling, or my ears ringing from the sudden drop in blood sugar. But I did manage to hear the guy say "Lets take a 10min break". We look at each other and yell "Lets go to the toilet". The woman sitting by the aisle gets up to let us out and asked us if we're leaving. We said we're just going to the toilet......with our bags and jackets. The guy tries to stop us and tell us they can't let us go anywhere. What's he going to fuckin do? Hold me hostage? I would just LOVE to see him try. I practically throw him out of the way sumo wrestler style and make a run for the door. Security was out there. We storm past security and run out into the dark. Luckily I had changed into my joggers before going today. I hike up my pants and run FULL SPEED down the hill towards the car park. Luckily it was a pretty straight road, because when I did try to slow down, I realised I was running so fast downhill, that I was actually out of control and couldn't stop until I almost slammed myself into a parked car.

We track down our car, throw our bags in and Moishii starts driving off before I even had my seatbelt on. We literally TEAR out of the carpark almost taking the boomgate with us (Since he didn't wait for it to go all the way up) and starts driving in a random direction. Too busy to look at a map cos I was rummaging through the car for food, we somehow end up on Epping Rd heading towards home. Less than 10mins after we got into the car, I had scoffed down about 20 vine leaves and the biggest slice of cake when my head stopped spinning.

FFS WHY DO WE GO TO THESE FUCKIN THINGS!? WE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN! WE'VE BEEN SO MANY TIMES BEFORE, AND EVERYTIME WE SWEAR WE WON'T DO IT AGAIN YET WE SIGN UP TIME AND TIME AGAIN! THE FUCKIN SHOW TOOK 4TIMES AS LONG TO FILM AS IT IS ON TV! I MEAN FFS! WE WERE THERE FOR 3.5HRS AND THEY WERE ONLY HALF WAY THROUGH THE FUCKIN FILMING! WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN!