I got home from work today and realised that Moishii had left a message for me on MSN. The message simply said that he's brother is in a coma, and that he is flying down to Melbourne first thing in the morning. I was wondering why I didn't hear from him today and calling him only got his voicemail. I left him a few messages and kept trying to call him through the night. I eventually got through to him and he broke the whole story to me.

His brother, who previously almost fell into a coma from overdosing on orange juice, was working in Melbourne helping dismantle a gondolier ride, when the 800kg carriage rolled ontop of him and crushing him and a workmate underneath. The people quickly rescued him and took him to hospital where he was in a coma and operated on. The good news is that he's awake and talking, but it's going to be a while before he's going to be going anywhere.

Now that I've delivered the sensible news, let me explain what REALLY happened. As you should all know now, that nothing is ever simple in Moishii's life, or his family's life. The accident happened around 1:30am Tuesday morning. The workmates who rescued his brother, called his girlfriend Tammie at 3am to let her know what was happening. Instead of doing the normal thing of calling his family and letting them know, Tammie decided to sit at home and cried for 6 hours straight. After getting that out of her system, she still didn't call Moishii's mum. Instead, she headed off to Flight centre at 10am and booked herself a flight to Melbourne for 4pm.

Finally, after 3pm, someone from his brother's work decided to call Moishii's mum to let her know that her son has been in an accident, and was in hospital. That was the whole message. Of course, his mum panics and completely goes mental and calls the girlfriend up to see if she knew. Of course she knew, and the reason she gave his mum for not calling to tell her? Because she didn't know what was going on, she didn't want to call to say she didn't know what was going on. So she decided not to call at all!! Like WTF?

So whilst Moishii's mum is completely having an attack, she manages to call her cousin in Auburn and book 3 flights down to Melbourne. 2 for her and Moishii's dad, and the third for the girlfriend. But wait, didn't the girlfriend go to flight centre to book a ticket already? Well, if you had been reading carefully, her flight was booked at 4pm, Moishii's mother didn't call her until after 3pm, AND SHE WAS STILL AT HOME! So obviously having missed that flight (Or just decided not to get on that flight cos she was busy crying), Moishii's mum booked a ticket for her, and she's supposed to meet them at the airport.

The girlfriend gets a lift from another friend, who decides to take the M4 to the airport. As they get to Parramatta, the car breaks down during peak hour traffic. So she calls up Moishii's parents to try and scab a lift off them, only they were already at the airport and decided to fly without her. So instead of doing the sane thing like flagging a car down for a ride or calling a cab, she decided to walk the M4. So she gets out of the car, grabs her suitcase, and starts walking. Not to the nearest exit....but from Parramatta to Strathfield! Who the hell walks from Parramatta to Strathfield, on the M4, whilst dragging a suitcase behind them? Wouldn't the LOGICAL thing be to get off at the nearest exit and flag a cab? It would've taken her a good 3-4hours to walk that far if not more! And even then, she still missed ALL the flights for the night and didn't get to Melbourne until this morning. Thats a whole 32+ hours from when she first found out! And the thing I want to know is, did she have to pay a toll when she walked the M4??

Meanwhile, Moishii, who gets home late after work, walks into the house to find his Grandmother having a screaming/crying fit. Apparently, everyone forgot to tell him what happened to his brother. His parents basically packed up and left him behind. His grandmother was too hysterical to tell him what was going on so he didn't find out until about 9pm last night. Luckily we didn't go to the movies like we had planned, otherwise he wouldn't have found out until about midnight! If they even bothered telling him!

So once Moishii finds out what was going on, he quickly books a flight to Melbourne for first thing this morning. He drives to the airport with his Grannie, and as they walk into the airport, the place is completely packed and the lines are longer than the Myers stocktake sale. Apparently, the whole Virgin Blue check-in system had crashed and burned and couldn't be fixed by the IT people. That meant that they had to do manual check-ins. By the time Moishii checked in, they had already missed their flight. They finally fixed the system and managed to put him on the first available flight which didn't get him to the hospital until almost midday!

So now that everyone is in Melbourne and have calmed down a bit, the girlfriend starts going a bit mental and is screaming that she's going to go to Today Tonight and tell them the whole story as to what happened and how negligent the carnival people are. She apparently spotted some camera people the today and left everyone behind in the hospital to chase after them.

So Moishii is trying to convince me to go down to Melbourne in case they do go on Today Tonight, and that I need to be there for that.

On another note, apparently Moishii's brother's life was saved by his belly. Yes, that's right. If he didn't have such a big gut, he'll be in a lot more trouble right now. His beer belly saved him.

Anyway, here's the news article on what happened just in case you think I'm making it up:

http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/two-hurt-in-moomba-ride-fall/2007/03/13/1173722409291.html

Hi I'm Dimitri Giotopolous from SMG TV Network and recently we joined my work mate Marco for his 23rd Birthday Bash at the Bavarian Bier Cafe in the city.

Since Marco was half Greek I thought this would be a great introduction to Mykonos 2007....

After Oishii and I got drenched from head to toe from our delayed Jetboat ride we decided to use her showers at work to clean up (Separate showers that is).

We walked into Bavarian Bier Cafe to find Marco and a couple of his friends sitting at a table. It was within minutes that we were introduced to some of his friends. 15 minutes later two Asian chicks walked in to kiss Marco Happy Birthday. One look at one of the girls and I turned around to Oishii and said "She has I want to be in HI look on her face". Yes my friends I was right. The chick who we refer to as the "Ass chick" was one of the highlights of the night.

As more and more drinks were served onto the table, the conversations got more interesting and of course the touching increased dramatically. I think the photos below will speak for themselves...

So I heard that everyone at Acer has been reading about Matt, well heres something for you Acer people reading. As you can see that Matt is a selfish dispicable leech. Everything we've stated below is what he told us. Whether he's lying or not is not my problem.

1. He either lied to us about the story to get some attention, in that case, YOU ARE A LOW LIFE.
2. If he DIDN'T lie about those things, THEN YOU ARE A LOW LIFE AND I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT YOU DO.

I also assume you have all read about the porn incident at work. Well, please refer to point 1 and 2 above. Ontop of that, I also assume that Matt TOLD you to read the blog, AFTER he has read it. So he knows the content of the posts. He knows that we've written that work suspects its him putting porn on the work server, and that he's using the boss's son as a scapegoat. And he also know we've written that he denies downloading or uploading any of that, that he's only gotten games etc etc. Everything is written clearly on this page. Yet he chose to share it with you guys. So let me say this. If Matt gets fired for this post, again, I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK. He deliberately notified you guys and he knew word would get around. I take no responsibility that he's trying to get himself fired.

HOWEVER.....we know what a lying, cheating scum of the earth type slug Matt is, he might be making this whole "Everyone at work is reading your blog" bullshit story up. If thats the case, no one at Acer is reading this announcement. So I direct this to you Matt. Either way, you are a homeless hating, seat hogging, delivery stealing, bullshit telling roach! I've been rethinking about you and the spitlist. I am now upgrading you to the SHITLIST. Same deal applies as the spitlist, only replace spit with shit. If there are Acer people reading, feel free to shit on him. As for the entertainment of this blog, I expect payment in the form of a new laptop thanks.

According to Matt, the company might be firing him or making him redundant because they suspect him of putting porn on the company server. Only Matt denies doing this. He reckons its the Boss's son! Who tries to blame the boss's son???? However, Matt doesn't deny watching it. And he did a very unconvincing "I didn't download any to take home with me!!". We don't believe him, Laura doesn't believe him. but Laura is ready for battle mode to take the company to court if they try to fire Matt because he's been putting porn on the server. He keeps insisting he's innocent, but we all know better than that.

According to him, he only took games. But the company knows its him putting porn on the server. Lets see how this pans out. If he gets redundant, he'll get a big payout. But I also think the payout will be immediately confiscated and used towards SOMEONE'S mortgage repayments. That or there will be some extraordinary legal fees. Matt isn't going to see a single cent of that payment. Not if some people can get their hands on it! See what porn does to you??????

So you think you know some people hey? After Matt's inconsiderate behaviour at Wonderland, and his disgraceful and selfish behaviour in refusing to give his leftover meal to the homeless, we thought we had him characterized as a low-life pretty well. Little did we know we were so far from the truth. During our near death experience the other day, we found out the following:

- Matt went out with Laura during a period that she was unemployed. On their date, Matt made Laura, who was unemployed, pay for her own meal. Actually, it wasn't a meal, it was a burger. A $2 burger

- Matt steals junk mail from Laura's 80yr old neighbour. WHO THE HELL STEALS JUNKMAIL????????

- During clean up day where all the large piece of garbage is left on the street, Matt picked up 4 computers. Laura's mum Jenny, wanted one of the computers. Matt refused to give her one of the computers. Instead, he took them home and used them to prop up one of their smaller filing cabinets, so the tablecloth they put over it will drap nicely instead of bunching up at the bottom. Eventually his mum got sick of all the computers he stole from Jenny and made him get rid of it. Instead of giving one to Jenny (His future in-law) he threw it in the bin! You might as well spit in Jenny's face and then smack her around with the old computer before throwing into the path of a truck!!!

- Matt was sitting in one of those seats reserved for disabled/elderly or pregnant people on the train. Some guy comes in from the next carriage asking if anyone had a seat to offer a pregnant woman in the other carriage. Matt buried his head in a book and ignored the guy. The guy walks up to Matt and asked MATT if he had a seat to give to a pregnant woman. Matt completely ignores the guy and makes the pregnant woman stand on her feet because his reasoning is she should've asked for a seat in the other carriage. And because there are doors seperating the carriages, what happens in the other carriage has nothing to do with him.

- Matt is too tight arse to even pay for his own bus ticket to go out to the city for a date with Laura. He'd use her travel ten, which costs her atleast $30-40 a week. He was using her as a free bus ride!

- After hearing about the whole $2 Burger thing, Laura tried to justify Matt's selfish behaviour by saying that ONCE he paid for a roast duck for dinner. The only thing was, he bought the roast duck, took it to Laura's place for dinner and then tried running off with the whole duck afterwards!

- So trying to steal a duck isn't bad enough, Matt tries to steal a whole chicken that Jenny cooked up to take home!

- These 2 went down the street where there was an office building. They grabbed a few boxes lying on the street and took it home with them only to find out that it contains thousands of ballpoint pens! They were stealing the office delivery!!!

- Matt has developed this habit of stealing stuff. Last time there was filming at Usyd, he went into the Architecture building and stole about 200kg of books! OLD architecture books! Who the hell steals old architecture books! He doesn't know jackall about architecture!!

So based on the above points, we have concluded that Matt is the pond scum of pond scum! He should be chained up and whipped for his disgusting behaviour!!! We are now putting him onto the "Spit List". Anyone on the Spit List will be spat at when we see them! For those really enthusiastic, you can vomit on him for all I care. There is no sympathy for low lifes like that!!!!!!

Darwin Awards - "We salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who remove themselves from it in really stupid ways"

Now what would you award someone who was CLOSE to doing that? You know how you hear all those tragic stories of people getting hit by a bus, or a car flies off the roof of a 3 story car park and comes crashing down? What about those stories of people eating at some unhygenic restaurant and gets food poisoning? Frostbite? Heart attack? Stroke? Breaking a leg in 3 places in a freak football accident?

I got an SMS from Moishii on Saturday. I had called him earlier and he didn't answer his mobile, so I had expected the sms to be something along the lines of "I'm watching a movie, call you later". No. "Im at the hospital my brother overdosed on OJ. I'll call you later".

what the? OJ?

I quickly type a reply "OJ = Orange juice!?"

I didn't get a reply for awhile and I started to get a bit worried. I'm sure you can't overdose on OJ. OJ must be some sort of disease, condition or accident abbreviation. I get a call a bit later from Moishii. Basically this is what had happened:

Moishii's brother has been suffering from bronchitis for the past month and has been on antibiotics. For the past 2 weeks, he's been having a minimum of 2L of Orange Juice before bed hoping the extra vitamin C will help him. Just OJ, no water, no tea. Just OJ. On Friday, for some reason, Moishii's brother drank 4L of Apple juice and 3L of OJ. Thats 7L of juice! He was thinking all that juice was helping him recover! And he was always thirsty, thinking it was the antibiotics. So he just kept drinking juice. That is until Saturday when he found that his vision had started blurring. So they take him to the doctors and when he explained to the doctor what he's been doing, he doctor screamed out "OMG WE HAVE TO GET YOU TO A HOSPITAL BEFORE YOU GOING INTO A COMA!!!".

Apparently his juice drinking bought his blood sugar level from a normal 10 to 48. 48!!!!!!!!!!! Thats 5 times the frickin blood sugar level! I'm surprised it wasn't higher considering he had 7L of juice! SEVEN LITRES!!! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE SEVEN LITRES OF WATER! He literally overdosed on Orange juice! How do you explain that to you friends?

"Hey whatcha up to?"
"Oh, I'm in hospital..."
"Hospital?? OMG!! WHAT HAPPENED?"
"I overdosed on orange juice"
"......."
"....."

Or maybe......

"Hey guess what happened to me on the weekend? I had a near death experience"
"Near death experience? What happened? Were you driving? In a fire?"
"No.....I overdosed on Orange Juice."
"......."
"....."

As Moishii was telling me this story over the phone, I practically bit my lips off from trying not to laugh. I was wrong to laugh! I tried not to laugh but it wasn't working, and Moishii knew it. Thats when he said "Go ahead, I've already had my laughing fit" and then I lost it. I laughed and laughed and cried and laughed and then laughed some more. I started to get hysterical and started screaming at Moishii

Me: "WHO THE HELL OVERDOSES ON ORANGE JUICE!?"
Him: "My brother obviously!!!"
Me: "Your family ain't normal are they?"
Him: "No."

Seriously. Who in their right mind overdoses on Orange Juice? And no wonder he was always thirsty! He was having a kilo of sugar a day! If you're thirsty, you have WATER! NOT JUICE! JUICE IS SUGAR AND SUGAR MAKES YOU THIRSTY!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA How Moishii managed to keep a straight face infront of the doctor I'll never understand...... HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHA I'm sorry. I'll stop laughing now.

....
......

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I disagree. I say we meet at the airport, catch a flight to Istanbul where I go and buy myself a tradition Turkish wedding dress from the scarf guy. We block off 5 streets near Bellboy's hotel and we get married then and there, with 6 days of nonstop partying. We then celebrate our honeymoon by going to Mykonos to have coffee with Johnny when we realise this isn't going to work and we get a divorce so I can get it on with Johnny as a single chick. We catch a flight over to Las Vegas to get married again, this time I'm dressed as Madonna with the cones and Moishii is dressed like Elvis. We hit the tables and gamble our entire fortune away where Moishii is forced to shave his legs/arms/chest, dons a Marilyn Monroe wig and thigh high split skirt and serenades the audience by throwing himself all over the piano. Meanwhile, whilst everyone is sick to their stomache at the toilets, I pick pocket everyone when they have their head in the toilet bowls. We make a quick escape with our goods by setting off the fire alarm.

First stop will be to Spain where Moishii tries to chase the bulls only to figure out that he got the dates wrong and gets pelted by tomatoes instead. Armed with a pan of paella, we make our way to Italy where we have a romatic trip in a gondola in Venice, only to realise that the water stinks, the city is flooded and I'm getting stalked by Tony's cousins. We decide to hijack the gondola, paddle our way out to sea, hitch a ride with a passing cruise ship and end up in Uraguay, where we are stranded without money and with no way to go home. This is when Moishii whips out his drums whilst I bellydance for money.

Armed with cash again, we make our way to France and to the top of the Eiffel tower where I bump into the French guy who tries to grope me again. With one swift kick, I throw him off the Eiffel tower. This is when the cops come and we make our escape with the French guy's credit card to buy a one way ticket to Brazil where we spend the rest of our lives pretending to be reporters in order to get free food and accomodation from the unsuspecting citizens of Brazil.